Coming Home

[English Version][Vietnamese Version]

It was a treat that Tom was able to join me this time. It has been quite a special week since I have a chance to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with Tom. When we are in the US, we get caught up in our lives and don’t hang out that often. This is the first time that I can really get a chance to hang out with my brother. It has been a week and I am enjoying every moment of it. He joined me on our taxi ride out of Saigon cutting through traffic hour on a Friday night. I have done this trek several times in the past but this time, Tom pointed out that this is the street that our old house was on. I have been clueless all this time passing by and going over bridge towards district 2 not knowing that we pass out old house prior to 75. He explained that the roads have been widened and that things have changed a lot. As we whizzed by a series of homes with metal gates next to the corner, he pointed out our old house. It is strange how this was home but at the same time, it is very foreign to me. For Tom, it was filled with memories as he reminisces. For me, there is some blurry recollection and only after had pointed things out that it made sense that we were home.

We continue our chatter in English since we are more comfortable speaking in English even in Vietnam. The taxi driver pulled into the gates of chua Dieu Giac with some trepidation since there seems to be some sand dunes and construction bricks. We navigated through the dilapidated passage way as word began to spread among children. “Chu Sy” was murmuring among the little voices of the children. The little children began to swarm the taxi. The driver had to slow down in attempt to avoid harming the little 5 year olds. I sense that this took the driver by surprise since even though my conversation with Tom described our goal for the evening, it was all in English and therefore he was not aware of what we were heading into. His astonishment transformed into a large grin once he recognized that the big box we were caring was full of toys. He then understood why two American brothers are venturing into the outskirts of Saigon.

The visit to chua DIau Giac is always a great home coming. The energy of the young children who thirst for attention and affection was contagious. I lifted up the one and then two 5 year olds and held them as if I have not seen them for years. It has actually been about six months since I last visited. The older children who I taught English to in previous visit came up more casually. There was a sense of longing as they greeted me calling me “thay” which means teacher. There is a sense of respect and admiration which is more apparent in the custom of Vietnamese culture. They affectionately said that I have forgotten them since it has been a long time, but I did sense a certain sadness. They realize that this is a treat but they also know that it will be brief.

In the chaos, co Bao organized the children into lines outside the courtyard. I only brought one box this time. I was sure that I did not have enough gifts for all the children. On my recent birthday party, I was able to collect many gifts for the children. Rather than gifts to me, my friends generous gave old toys or purchase new toys as gifts to the children. I also plan to visit another orphanage on the country side community of Can Tho. I therefore only packed half of the toys in one box for this gathering. Tom assisted with the dissemination of the gifts. The children held together their hands in an attentive bow before accepting each gift. The anticipation of the young children receiving each toy was like Christmas morning with the difference of the balmy heat of the tropical Saigon.

After the children were satiated with toys galore, co Bao announced in a form of a question; if they wanted to watch a movie. They answered in unison with great enthusiasm. In the past, we used to lug the projector and speakers up to the third floor where there was an available room. This used to be the room where they had class or exercise. It was an open room with a blank wall which was very suitable for a showing. However, this is now converted to living quarters for some of the older children. We therefore resorted to the cafeteria on the first floor. The dining tables were pushed to one side creating a makeshift theatre. The requirements were very minimal including a wall, floor for the children to sit and an electrical outlet. The dining room was therefore converted into a perfect theater for the children.

The universal Donald Duck, Tom and Jerry and Warner Brother cartoons was eye candy to the children as I passed out real candy for them to snack on. The children were so memorized that I had to place the candy in front of them before they recognized that I was there and therefore I received the bowing heads. As I sat on the floor, two little 4 years old snuggled into my lap. I was basking into an ocean of about 50 beautiful children. I felt on a high along the laughter as we soaked in the slapstick humor of the cartoons. A coupled of my former students also came by to console. Be Trinh was very proud to report her accomplishments of performing in a circus troop around Saigon and also in neighboring towns. There was great sincerity and kinship in her warm recollection of our last trip to Vung Tau together. My visit felt like a long lost family member reuniting after a long absence. As I stroke the hair of the small child on my lap and catching up with the teenager, it felt like a coming home.

After the movies, I talked to co Bao as she was showed me to one of the newest members to the orphanage. The baby was only a few days old as he was dropped at the gates of the Pagoda. Co Bao was describing how the baby has lost weight since he has not yet adjusted to the powder milk and has not eaten very much. Sleeping inside a cocoon like mosquito net, it was helpless yet filled with love. Other children hovered and the nuns and adult volunteers constantly attended to its newest member. The orphans make up in familial sibling kinship in an environment where parents were lacking. It is not the typical nuclear family but all the children have instinctive sense inclusiveness and genuine love and this make for a unique and very carrying family. This unfortunate baby in some ways is also fortunate to be included into this large family where loving siblings and caring monks create a very unique and large family.

Co Bao help called for a Taxi and walked my brother Tom and I out to the gates. Some of the children followed us out. The pagoda and orphanage to me is an emotional microcosm of Saigon. I was born in Saigon and there is a sense of home, yet it is foreign from the western Armenian experience that grew up in. The children of the orphanage gave my wandering and perhaps lost soul a sense of familiarity and belong; however it is very foreign from all my normal experience. This paradoxical mixture of belonging and yet being in a foreign place is confusing but intensely etch into my emotional psyche. I hugged co Bao, who was the master monk, along with the children that walked us out. It is a brief encounter but I always treasure this extended family that I hold dear in my heart.